Reader Miriam submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:
I’m overwhelmed by everything at work and at home. Have you ever gone swimming in the ocean and you look back at the shore and realize you went farther than you meant to go? The shore is sanity and I’m no where near it. There is clutter everywhere and my kids, my husband, and my colleagues at work don’t appear to see it. Help me, Unclutterer!
Miriam, my heart goes out to you and your situation. I’ve never swam in the ocean, but I know the feelings of anxiety you’re experiencing. I’ve been there, and I know that many of our readers have too — and some may also feel exactly like you.
The first thing to do is to take a moment for yourself and relax. Go on a walk around your neighborhood or find a quiet space and sit in silence for a few minutes. Take deep breaths and reflect on the positive aspects of your work and home. What are the things that make you happy? Underneath all the clutter and stuff, what in your life is most important to you?
After the rush of anxiety has subsided, you should make a plan. This plan will help you to feel less stress about your environment in the future. Make a list of specific areas of your life you would like to be less cluttered. Be detailed with the items on your list: “Sort through the towels and sheets in the linen closet; take to the animal shelter any that are damaged or unwanted.” “Spend 15 minutes a day filing or processing papers from inbox on desk.”
Once you’ve made a list, pull out your calendar and schedule every item. When you schedule the items, I recommend your first project be something small (nothing larger than a closet) and an area that you encounter every day. This way, your early success will help to motivate you to continue to get clutter removed from more difficult areas.
The harsh reality in all of this is that you cannot force another adult to be an unclutterer. You can guide children and give them chores, but you can’t do this for spouses and work colleagues. Take care of the clutter that directly affects you and that you can address, and stop worrying about the other stuff. You have no control of the other stuff and you’ll become a permanent anxious mess if you continue to let it get to you. On the positive side, though, your uncluttering will hopefully be inspiring to those around you and motivate them to join you in your endeavors. Feel comfortable calmly talking about your uncluttering efforts with others and sharing with them your successes. Also, seek out the assistance of a tidy friend or professional organizer if working with someone else will help you to achieve your goals.
As you’re working, focus on the reasons you’re going through the uncluttering process. When you’re finished, you’ll have more time, energy, and space to pursue the remarkable life you desire. You deserve to be free from the anxiety that is currently ruling your life. Good luck, and know that this type of change is possible. All of us are cheering for you!
Thank you, Miriam, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column.
Do you have a question relating to organizing, cleaning, home and office projects, productivity, or any problems you think the Unclutterer team could help you solve? To submit your questions to Ask Unclutterer, go to our contact page and type your question in the content field. Please list the subject of your e-mail as “Ask Unclutterer.” If you feel comfortable sharing images of the spaces that trouble you, let us know about them. The more information we have about your specific issue, the better.