Hasta La Ideas

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Have you always wanted to wear a hockey mask for hours a day, like Jason does in the Friday the 13th movies? If you have, AND you want a more slim face, then the Japanese Face Slimmer may be the perfect product for you. Sure, you may terrify small children, but isn’t that really part of the plan? Fear and a slimmer face — maybe this isn’t a unitasker after all!

I’m not exactly sure how the face slimming actually works (crushes your bones? causes you to sweat so much you become dehydrated?), but don’t let things like “doubt” stop you from ordering this attractive item. You’ll be all the rage at the grocery store, your son’s little league practice, and driving down the road being chased by the cops!