Unitasker Wednesday: Chef’n Garlic Zoom

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I want to start with the obvious, and that is the name of this product. Most multi-tasking or high-utility kitchen products have simple names that begin with lowercase letters: skillet, oven, knife, plate. A good sign that something might be a unitasker is when its name is cutesy and trademarked: JerkyXpress, Plater Grater, Nostalgia Cotton Candy Maker. By all accounts, the Chef’n Garlic Zoom is destined for unitasker greatness based on the fact that it includes a random apostrophe and the word zoom:

It looks innocent enough, yes? It’s not very large and wouldn’t clutter up your kitchen too much. And, it probably even works (although the reviews on Amazon aren’t what I would call “glowing”). However, I fail to see how it is better than a KNIFE, which you probably already own. Here’s how you use it:

  1. Peel skin off garlic clove. (Which, I think most people do with a knife.)
  2. Open Chef’n Garlic Zoom and put in your clove of garlic.
  3. Close up the device and roll it along the counter.
  4. Open it.
  5. Remove the center blade.
  6. Use your finger or a small spoon to scoop out the garlic. (Anyone else guessing that getting the garlic out is a bit messy?)

How is this easier than chopping up garlic with a knife? When you use a knife, all you do is peel the garlic and chop it up. You can even rinse off the knife and use it on a carrot! or broccoli! or fish! I almost feel sorry for the little Chef’n Garlic Zoom. Almost. Thanks to reader Gabe for finding us this adorable unitasker.


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