Hasta La Ideas

Last week, Lifehacker jumped on the spring cleaning bandwagon and published a series of posts dedicated to uncluttering in “Lifehacker’s Ultimate Clutter Cleanout“:

All week at Lifehacker we’re putting extra focus on uncluttering your world, ranging from your home, your personal finances, your workspace, your digital world, and more. So sit back, relax, and let the clutter rinse right off.

I particularly enjoyed Kevin Purdy’s roundup of home design tools in “The Best Design Tools for Improving Your Home” and his “Top 10 Ways to Declutter Your Digital Life, 2010 Edition.” Implementing his tips on creating Gmail filters has already improved the way I process my e-mail.

I was honored to be included in the uncluttering series, and my post “Why You Hold On to Clutter” explores the science of irrationally buying (and keeping) unnecessary objects:

In “The power of touch: An examination of the effect of duration of physical contact on the valuation of objects“, researcher James Wolf reported that the longer a person touches an object, the greater the value assigned to that item. These conclusions were derived from two studies where people attended an auction and were told that they would be bidding on coffee cups. Before bidding on the items, subjects went around a room inspecting the average, nothing-special-about-them, coffee cups that were going to be put up for sale. Observers found that “examining an item for longer periods of time resulted in greater attachment to the item and thus higher valuations.” Meaning that the longer a subject touched and observed a coffee cup during the inspection period, the more likely he was to buy the cup and pay even more for it than its sticker price.

Be sure to check out “Lifehacker’s Ultimate Clutter Cleanout” for more great spring cleaning advice.

Also on the topic of spring cleaning, the May issue of Real Simple is also dedicated to the topic. It is already on newsstands, and some of the articles are online. ‘Tis the season to unclutter!

Reader Stefanie submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I’m really good about things like keeping my email inbox almost empty and entering every little thing into my calendar or to-do list. I know exactly what I need to get done, but my problem is mental clutter. I’m a writer, so I’m always sending work out to various publications and presses. I’m also looking for a job right now, and I have applications out all over the place. I end up spending way too much time anxiously waiting to hear about work I’ve already done instead of producing something new. Do you have any tips about how to get out of this waiting loop?

Job hunting, dating, waiting for grade cards, negotiations — when you type these words onto a computer screen they look relatively harmless. However, the reality of these events can be stressful, filled with anxiety, and great causes of worry. When you become fixated on the outcomes of these events, your worries clutter up your ability to think or do much else the same way physical clutter can overwhelm your home and office.

If you’re like me, being told “don’t worry about it” just makes me want to give the stink eye to whomever said “don’t worry about it.” Obviously, if you could just turn off the anxiety by telling yourself not to worry about something, you would. So, you won’t hear that advice from me. Instead, I’ll offer up my strategies for handling mental clutter and you might find one or two will work for you.

Embrace the worry. Set a timer for an hour, and put your entire focus on worrying during that time. Imagine the worst case scenario and then write out how you would respond to each of these scenarios. You don’t get job X — How do you feel? What do you say to people who knew you applied for the job? What new jobs do you apply for? How will you change your budget? What would life be like if you had to move in with a friend/family member/your car? What is Plan B? I don’t know why it works, but focusing on the worst for an hour usually helps relieve the greatest amount of my anxiety. I typically find that I am prepared to handle all of the scenarios I imagined. Also, if the dark Cloud of Doom looming overhead reappears, I just remind myself of the solution I have planned and the fear subsides.

Gretchen Rubin, author of the blog The Happiness Project and a book by the same name, addressed fears she had about negative reviews of her book by writing, “Happiness Interview with an (Imaginary) Hostile Reader.” Her post is a perfect example of embracing the worry and it helped her to keep actual criticisms that came after her book’s release in perspective.

Do something else. Mental clutter has the power to immobilize, but that doesn’t mean you have to give in to its power. Acknowledge that you’re wasting time worrying about X, and do everything you can to do Y. When I get writer’s block, I’ll put on my running shoes and get in my exercise for the day. When I can’t sleep because anxious thoughts overwhelm my mind, I’ll get up and do chores or read light fiction or take the car to get gas or go grocery shopping (our store is open 24 hours). When I worked in a formal office and leaving wasn’t an option, I would fight these consuming thoughts by returning phone calls, refilling my co-worker’s coffee cups like I were a waitress in a diner, or temporarily relocating my work to a conference room (the change of scenery was often all it took). I learned how to knit when I was thinking about changing careers. I took up running when my mom was in a really bad car accident. I wrote my book when we were waiting to be matched for our adoption. Healthy diversions are fantastic ways to get out from under worry.

Talk to a professional. If either of the two strategies that I’ve mentioned aren’t enough to help you clear the mental clutter, pick up the phone and schedule an appointment with a mental health professional. When clutter is out of control in your physical space, you can turn to a professional organizer to help you get things in order — so why not turn to a professional to help you get rid of the mental clutter? Almost a decade ago, when I was considering changing careers, I met a few times with a therapist to sort through everything. I wanted the opinion and help of a neutral third party, and it worked great for me. Paying for four sessions with a therapist was worth the price of not worrying about my career-change decision for the rest of my life.

Thank you, Stefanie, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. Be sure to check out the comments for even more strategies for handling mental clutter.

Do you have a question relating to organizing, cleaning, home and office projects, productivity, or any problems you think the Unclutterer team could help you solve? To submit your questions to Ask Unclutterer, go to our contact page and type your question in the content field. Please list the subject of your e-mail as “Ask Unclutterer.” If you feel comfortable sharing images of the spaces that trouble you, let us know about them. The more information we have about your specific issue, the better.

As part of my second set of 2010 resolutions, I started going through my entire home and office playing the “I’m moving overseas!” uncluttering game.

However, I ran into a problem because I know I’m not actually moving overseas. It’s like setting your alarm clock 10 minutes ahead — you always know it’s 10 minutes ahead. I can’t seem to trick myself into behaving in a way that makes the game beneficial. And, since I already own much less stuff than the average American, I’m using that as some strange justification for my decision-making process.

I’ve come to realize that this game isn’t for me and that I need a new approach. Taking the place of “I’m moving overseas!” is my new “How much is enough?” evaluation procedure.

The premise of “How much is enough?” is simple:

• Sort objects into groups by product type. All hammers in one pile, and all free mini-tubes of toothpaste from the dentist in another.
• Evaluate product types and decide what we need and what inspires us. Is it necessary that I have three hammers? Is one hammer enough to meet my family’s needs? Is more than one hammer a distraction (clutter)? Is having one pair of scissors in the sewing supplies, another pair in my office desk, and another pair in the kitchen the best solution for our family? Do I have more yarn than I could possibly knit in a year or in a lifetime?
• Sort remaining objects into groups by purpose. All home maintenance and repair tools in one pile, and all toiletries in another.
• Evaluate purpose groups and decide what we need and what inspires us. Is it necessary that I have a cream rinse, conditioner, and a leave-in conditioner for my hair? Do we need earthenware when our china is more durable and can go in the dishwasher and microwave? Do I need 40 photographs of family and friends on display, or will five really great pictures inspire me more because I’ll actually look at them instead of seeing a mess of frames?
• When returning objects to their official storage spaces, ask again if what I have is more than I need or effective at inspiring me. Am I owning this object just to own it, or is it an object that my family or I really need and/or find truly inspiring?

What I’m learning is that I have more than I need to achieve the remarkable life I desire, and I don’t need to be surrounded by so much stuff. It is ridiculous for me to own 10 sweaters when I only wore one this past winter (and this was the worst winter we’ve had in D.C. in my lifetime). One sweater is enough for me. I’m simply not a sweater-wearing person. And, if I need another, I thankfully have the resources to easily acquire another sweater. All nine of my other sweaters can be donated to a charitable group for people who really need sweaters during the winter to stay warm.

My answer to the question, “How much is enough?” is turning out to be much less than I imagined. My family and I don’t require too many physical objects to be healthy, happy, and comfortable in the modern world. And, in a couple rare cases, I’m also finding that there are objects we need but that we don’t own. In these situations, I’m making room in our home for these items and I’ve started saving money to buy them.

If you choose to use the “How much is enough?” evaluation procedure to help you sort through your clutter, remember that your answers will be very personal. The decisions that you make will likely be different than mine (you may need more than one sweater in your wardrobe), and that is okay. What I’m learning is that my answer to the question is much different than it was even just two years ago. Don’t be surprised if your answers have changed over time, too. Happy uncluttering!

As this is being posted to the website, someone very close to me is undergoing brain surgery. She has an aggressive tumor, which as far as doctors can tell, started growing just six weeks ago.

A month and a half ago she was healthy, gregarious, and planning a baby shower for me; now she’s in Houston at the MD Anderson Cancer Treatment Center fighting for her life.

I hate this tumor, and I hate all of the fear it has caused.

I’m sharing this personal story with you for two reasons. First, as a reminder that life is short, even if you live to be 100. We are not immortals. Each moment is a gift, and you have a choice of how you spend that time. You can let it idly pass you by, being unaware of its rich possibilities and cluttering your days with unimportant stuff. Or, you can carpe vitam — seize life — and take advantage of all the valuable experiences this world has to offer.

Second, I’m sharing this story with you as a reminder that you never know what others are dealing with when you encounter them. The person who cut you off in traffic may be rushing to the hospital. The cell phone that rings during a movie may be an emergency. The person who didn’t return your e-mail may have more important matters in front of him. None of us can read minds or know what is going on in everyone’s life — cut people slack, and hopefully they’ll do the same when you need that favor.

Stop cluttering up your life with things that don’t matter to you. Take responsibility for your life and what you have chosen to include in it. Stop cluttering up your time assuming the worst in other people. And, treat everyone you encounter as if you know someone they love is undergoing brain surgery — unfortunately, it might be true.

In the children’s book Zen Shorts by Jon Muth, a giant panda named Stillwater tells three stories to young siblings Addy, Michael, and Karl. All of the stories are famous Buddhist teachings, and you may be familiar with them even if you haven’t seen this beautifully illustrated book.

The third story Stillwater shares with Karl is called “A Heavy Load” and is about two traveling monks. During their journey, two monks come upon an awful woman who refuses to cross a river because she does not wish to get her silken robes wet or dirty. The older of the two monks quickly picks up the woman and carries her across the water. Many hours later, the younger monk is very upset and visibly angry about his friend helping someone so disdainful, and he feels obliged to share his frustration with the older monk:

“That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then she didn’t even thank you!”

“I set the woman down hours ago,” the older monk replied. “Why are you still carrying her?”

I think of this story whenever I find a dirty cup in our television room or clothing on the floor instead of in the hamper or notice that a co-worker dropped the ball on a small task. I remind myself that I have two options — I can be like the young monk and throw a fit and be in a bad mood and let it annoy me for hours, or I can be like the older monk and take care of the problem myself and immediately let go of the frustration. I get to decide if I want the cup or errant sock or unfinished task to clutter up my mind and put me in a bad mood, and, since I’d rather not have that clutter wasting my time and energy, I usually choose to be like the older monk.

I’m not a maid — and I’m not suggesting you become one either — but I get to decide how I’m going to react to a situation. Remembering, too, that I don’t know the full story behind why the glass or sock are out of place or why a task at work was left unfinished. For all I know, my co-worker got an important call from a client and had to stop a project mid-way through completion to handle an emergency. By helping out, instead of getting frustrated and throwing a fit, I’m making the situation better for myself and others. I get to choose not to fill my time with more clutter than the small item I encountered.

That said, if there is a persistent habit of other people leaving messes in their wake, a conversation about that behavior is certainly in order. However, frustrations caused by occasional messes are usually not worth carrying around with you and cluttering up your mind, energy, and emotions.