Hasta La Ideas

Not to brag, but we have it all figured out now. Remember how you, like us, thought it was curious when you learned that the epicenter of stadium design is Kansas [or Missouri, see below]? You have Populous there, which is clearly the biggest player in the game (metaphor!), but there’s also Ellerbe Beckett, who grabbed the Atlantic Yards ball from Frank Gehry and is now running it to the end zone (another metaphor!). But how exactly did the city wind up with control of the stadium-building universe? We don’t want to go too far with this, but it’s clearly a statewide brainwashing experiment, either purported by the government or some Bilderberg-esque group, with Earl Santee pulling the strings. You ask for an evidence? We have your evidence right here. In this story about Kansas State University’s quarterback, a young man named Grant Gregory, the focus is on how he knows every possible thing there is to know about every single stadium in America. His teammates call him “Rain Main” because he can rattle off tons of information about any stadium you can think of to quiz him on. Clearly this has been done before, with these minions weeding their way into the upper echelons of professional sports, putting the state’s name out there wherever possible, creating this Kansas-based monopoly on stadium contracts. And now with Gregory, we’re guessing he’s their latest model, who they’ll push to get into the pros, then a lengthy television commentator position, then finally, accepted as the NFL‘s commissioner. From there, we will all be helpless in the face of this total, overwhelming domination! Either that or it’s just kind of an interesting story about how much this guy knows about football stadiums.

Update: A reader points out in the comments “Populous is in Kansas City, MISSOURI, among other places. I imagine that’s where Ellerbe Beckett has an office, too.” This either completely debunks the conspiracy theory, alters it slightly so that it also includes any state with a “Kansas”-named town, or proves that we’ve touched a nerve and this conspiracy’s agents are trying to stop the truth from getting out.

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