Hasta La Ideas

Do you find Twix too manly? Are M&Ms insufficiently glamorous? Have you sworn off Snickers in search of something sleeker and more sparkly? Mars is on the case. The highly secretive candy company is now testing-marketing Fling, “low-calorie chocolate for women.” And by “for women,” they mean infused with glitter! Actually, it’s mica, an FDA-approved mineral that adds shimmer to Fling’s three varieties: milk chocolate (pink shimmer), dark chocolate (gold), and hazelnut (orange). We enjoy shiny things and anything involving hazelnuts, but the creepily patronizing branding of Fling leaves a bad taste in our mouth.

Until a gender studies conference can properly dissect the Fling website (not to be confused with Fling.com, warns the FAQ), we’ll highlight a few unfortunate morsels. Sprinkled with stock photography that appears lifted from ads for assorted birth control regimes, the hot-pink site welcomes you to a “Naughty…but that naughty” world in which Mars has created a chocolate bar to “celebrate the female spirit—the unapologetically feminine playful, naughty, flirtatious, and alluring nature that brings shimmer into the world.” But let’s not get carried away with the unapologetic celebrating, ladies. (Ix-nay on the utterfinger-Bay!) This is, after all, a Fling. “At under 85 calories per chocolate stick, it’s slim, but not skinny. Indulgent but not greedy. Naughty but nice.” Passionate but not hysterical. Those ready to take the site’s advice and “let yourself go” can head to California, the only state where Fling is available in stores. Can’t wait? Order online. Or just watch the Fling TV spots now airing in California and kiss your appetite good-bye.

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