Hasta La Ideas

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I like candles, especially the ones that smell nice. My favorite is Votivo’s prairie sage scented candle. My friend Susan bought me one about 12 years ago and it has been my favorite ever since (I think I’m on my ninth one, I’m a creature of habit).

Maintaining candles is super easy. You light them, let them burn, blow them out, let them cool, and then put them into storage until the next time you want to use them. It’s the way people have been using candles since someone came up with the idea of putting a wick into wax. There is nothing difficult about candles. Heck, even making candles is easy.

So when reader Rita emailed me a link to suggest this unitasker, I was a wee-bit confused as to why candles should be made more difficult. See, in my experience, the wick burns when you light it on fire. It takes care of itself. There is no need for a Wick Trimmer because the flame will destroy the wick all on its own:

Sure, sometimes you might want to turn the candle over when it’s cool and dust off a few, stray charred wick remains, just to get them out of the way. I guess if you really didn’t like the look of any charred wick bits that are left behind you could cut them off with your multifunctional nail trimmers. But, if you’re like me, neither of these things are all that pressing of tasks since they’re only candles and eventually the wick bits will go away on their own.

My confusion over trying to make candles more difficult than they need to be doesn’t stop with the wick trimmer. While I was on the page for the wick trimmer, I noticed the “customers who bought this item also bought” section and came across another peculiar candle device. This one is the Waxi Taxi:

With this device, you can move votive candles around your home while they’re lit! Because carrying fire is REALLY smart. (No, it’s actually not smart. I was using sarcasm. How are there people who are unaware transporting lit candles is a bad idea?) Since long matches exist, there is never a need to light a candle before putting it somewhere. And, since it’s incredibly easy to blow out a candle and then move it, this one really takes the cake for pointlessness.

Who knew that candle accoutrements was a thing?! Think I’ll just stick with my method of not maintaining them with any special tools and enjoying them all the same.

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