Hasta La Ideas

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

The nasty cold winter weather has me dreaming of summer. I’m imagining scenes of walking outside without a coat, hat, gloves, scarf, and boots. I keep standing next to the window, hoping to feel the warm sun on my face, but dense clouds threatening snow are keeping that from happening.

One of my favorite summer foods is watermelon. I’ve been especially missing its cold and crisp texture, and sweet juice that always seems to find its way down my chin. Unfortunately, since I can’t enjoy it now, I’ve had to think about my future with watermelon and how the chef’s knife I use to cut it likely offends the fruit.

“How dare you cut me with a knife you use on other foods!” it thinks, in judgment of me.

This year, I vow to impress watermelons! I shall no longer feel shame about using a multi-functional knife. Instead, I will win the watermelons’ affections as I pull out my dedicated Stainless Steel Watermelon Knife:

All watermelons will know they are being sliced by a knife created just for them when they see the stamp on the blade identifying the knife’s very specific purpose:

Summer needs to hurry up and get here so I can use the knife that won’t offend watermelons!

Thanks to reader Swilde for introducing us to this fun unitasker.

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