Hasta La Ideas

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

If ever something were to come out of a unicorn’s tushy, sprinkles would best be suited for the task. However, I’m not really sure something should come out of a unicorn’s tushy …

The Unicorn Sprinkles Shaker:

Although super cute, I do have a number of logistical concerns about this product. My biggest problem is that it’s not sealable. When not in use, moisture and air can get in and degrade your sprinkles (or jimmies, if you’re from the small part of the US that uses that term). Small bugs and dust can also get into the container and contaminate your sugary confection. A storage container for candy that doesn’t seal when not in use is a really bad idea.

Looking at the second image above, it appears the unicorn’s derriere has atrocious accuracy. There are wasted sprinkles strewn all over that table top. Wasted sprinkles?! Shame on you, Unicorn Sprinkles Shaker! Shame. On. You.

Next, you can’t see the sprinkles in the unicorn’s guts and legs to know how many sprinkles you have left or what kind you’re going to get before you shake the unicorn’s backside over your cupcake or ice cream sundae. No one wants to be surprised by the wrong type of sprinkles (and the wrong ones are obviously the hard, solid sugar ones with no chocolate — the chocolate makes them yummylicious).

In our house, we have one container with six sorted colors of sprinkles — red, yellow, blue, green, pink, and orange — because sometimes my son only wants green and on KU game days I only want red and blue. And, there is no way I’m going to stand and sort out all the single colors of sprinkles from the herd. (All the single sprinkles, all the single sprinkles.) To meet our needs, we would need six Unicorn Sprinkles Shakers, one for each color, and that is simply ridiculous.

Oh, Unicorn Sprinkles Shaker, you’re adorable but wholly unhelpful and would quickly become clutter in a kitchen cupboard.

(Swell. Now I have the My Little Pony theme song AND “Single Ladies” stuck in my head. Thanks, Unicorn Sprinkles Shaker.)

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