Hasta La Ideas

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I don’t usually consider novelty items for unitasker selections. However, when novelties fail at being novel, I can’t pass up on such easy targets. This week, I present to you Puppy Tweets:

What is a Puppy Tweets? It’s a device your dog wears around its neck that transmits messages to your computer so your dog can tweet. Because, um, tweeting is something you really want your dog to do? From the product description on Amazon:

When your dog moves, barks, or naps the tag sends a Tweet via Twitter

According to a ridiculous number of bad reviews on Amazon, however, this isn’t actually what happens. Along with the devices (the dog tag and a USB antenna), you have to install a program on your computer to use Puppy Tweets. This program contains a preset list of messages that send from your computer every hour you have the program running. Your dog doesn’t have to wear the device (which is apparently quite large and uncomfortable for small dogs to wear), and you don’t have to use the USB antenna to detect movement, barking, or napping. Simply run the program, and receive bad jokes and puns from your dog via Twitter (not even transcriptions of your dog’s actual barks). You can even go into the program files and change the text of the tweets before they are sent, thus ruining the surprise of what your dog isn’t thinking!

In short, you could easily write up a bunch of pretend tweets from your dog in HootSuite and time them to send one an hour and have the exact same experience for free. I’m not really sure why you would want to receive fake tweets from your pet, though. That part continues to confuse me.

Thankfully, if such a not-so-novel product interests you, the Puppy Tweets in blue is only $1.10. If you want to part with more of your money, it’s $7.59 in pink.

Like this site? Buy Erin Rooney Doland’s Unclutter Your Life in One Week from Amazon.com today.