Hasta La Ideas

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

For the past couple months, the advertisements that appear in the far right column of my Facebook page have been full of unitaskers. I’m not sure what it is about my profile that has changed that now suggests I want to buy unitaskers, but I have clearly become the target market for vast quantities of trinkets and doodads.

One of the items Facebook really wants me to buy is the Piece of Cake Layer Slicing Kit:

Now, if I were a professional baker who made dozens of 10″ or 11″ round layered cakes a day, I can see how something like this might be useful. Since I’m not a professional baker, though, it falls into the category of Misdirected Marketing.

First off, how many 10″ or 11″ round cakes might the average non-professional baker make in a year? And, what if I want to make a 9″ round layered cake or a 12″ round layered cake or — and now I’m getting crazy — a rectangle layered cake? Would I have to buy separate Piece of Cake Layer Slicing Kits at $60 a pop for those, too? How else could I possibly cut those cakes?

Well, I know the answer: I would put the cake on a lazy susan, use a serrated knife, hold the knife relatively still at the preferred height, and move the cake in a circle and across the knife. (Just like this woman does in this YouTube video.) This method has worked great for me ever since I learned to bake and decorate cakes. Also, even if the layer is a little crooked, it doesn’t matter — because it’s cake! Cake is gladly devoured by friends and family irrespective of how perfectly cut the layers are! I know this is true because during a power outage this year, I decorated my son’s birthday cake in the dark, and the layers were uneven and the whole cake was a little lumpy, and everyone at the party still gobbled down the cake. No one refused to eat the cake because it wasn’t perfect. Why? Because crooked cake tastes just as good as perfectly level cake.

Mmmmmmm … cake …

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