Unitasker Wednesday: Pancake problems that aren’t problems

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

In my opinion, the best part of the breakfast pancake is the syrup. Without syrup, a pancake tastes like hay. With syrup, a pancake tastes like candy. The more syrup on a pancake, the more it tastes like candy, and the better it is. Yummy, yummy maple syrup candy pancakes …

So, you can imagine my confusion when I recently learned about these very special pancake plates that have run-off reservoirs for your syrup. Why would anyone want a device that drains away the syrup from a stack of pancakes? This makes no sense. None at all. The goal is to have ALL the syrup on the pancakes:

I’m going to go out on a limb here and make a couple wacky suggestions — If you don’t like syrup, don’t pour any syrup on your pancakes. If you want to limit the amount of syrup you use, pour syrup into a small cup you already own and dip bites of your pancakes into the cup of syrup. If you don’t have a cup, go out and buy one. Heck, buy two! My guess is you can find two small cups at Target for significantly less than $45 (the price of the two pancake plates) and those cups will take up less space in your kitchen cupboards. You can also reuse cups for drinking beverages. Snazzy.

If I haven’t convinced you not to buy these syrup-depriving abominations, then by all means don’t eat just any pancake off your very special pancake plate … eat terrifying pancakes from an aerosol can!

Really, they’re a thing. Aerosol pancakes. They exist.

Thanks to readers Katie and J for leading us to these two pancake-related unitaskers. What’s that? You want one more? Okay, here you go, have an unintelligible pancake decorative plate to hang on your wall. (Why cut off the words? Why?!)

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