Hasta La Ideas

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Whenever I sit down to have some fruit or vegetables, my first thought is often, “I bet these nutritious foods would taste better if they were thinly cut and curly.” Because, let’s all be honest with ourselves, curly foods just taste better. If it’s a choice between a carrot that can be dipped into hummus or ranch dressing and a thinly cut, curly mound of carrot shavings — you want the carrot that is decorative! Those of us who are willing to admit our desire for curly fruits and vegetables, we thankfully now have the Fruit and Vegetable Twister Garnish Processing Device to make it all possible:

And the Amazon reviews really sell it:

Do not buy!

Is not functional product …

A little flimsy, have to be careful not to break it

That last quote, by the way, is from the only 4 star “positive” review of the device.

Seriously, if you really do desire vegetable garnishes, let me recommend a sturdy, quality product that will take up less space in your kitchen drawers and you can use it on any non-mushy fruit and vegetable (unlike the item above, which would crush most everything besides tubers) — the Julienne Peeler by Kuhn Rikon. It’s also extremely simple to clean and is what professional cooks use in restaurant kitchens. I’m not sure why you would need one at home, but if you do, please leave the plastic doodad off your shopping list and go with a functional, useful version instead.

Thanks go to reader Kerrie for sharing the Fruit and Vegetable Twister Garnish Processing Device with us. (Even its name is unnecessarily long and cluttered!) It is genuinely a unitasker.

Need help getting organized? Buy the DRM-free audiobook version of Erin Rooney Doland’s Unclutter Your Life in One Week today for only $8.99.