Unitasker Wednesday: Cirrus Press ice ball maker

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

This week’s unitasker was submitted to us by reader SF, who asked if the Cirrus Press ice ball maker is “For the person who has everything?”

At $799 a piece, I have to agree with SF that the buyer must already own everything. And, in addition to having everything, I think the person must also have an insane amount of time on his/her hands to only make one ice ball at a time. The product description says that it would be perfect for a bartender to use, which seems extremely unlikely based upon every bar I’ve been to where time is very precious to a bartender.

Make no mistake, I’m all in favor of slowly melting ice that doesn’t dilute my drink, but at this price I could buy alcohol so good that it doesn’t need to be chilled — and have money left over to give to charity or give to friends/family/strangers or to buy myself a new drink if one became watered down.

An alternative might be Sipping Stones, which won’t dilute your drink with water and cost less than $20. Plus, they don’t make your drink so cold that you can’t taste the drink (a problem I’ve sometimes encountered when having drinks “on the rocks”). Or, if you are committed to the idea of having a single, large, ice ball in every beverage, consider the Prepara Ice Ball Makers, where you can get four forms for less than $10. These even appear to have the bonus of being able to add mint or juice or grenadine or whatever you might want to add to the ice to liven up a drink.

I’m sure the Cirrus Press ice ball maker is pretty cool, I’m just not certain it is $799 cool, nor $790 cooler than the Prepara Ice Ball Makers.

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