Unitasker Wednesday: Avocado Cuber (and Avocado Pit Removal Tool and Avo Saver and Avocado Knife)

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I’m fairly certain our Unitasker Wednesday feature could exist entirely on kitchen gadgets that do the same thing as knives. There are so many of these doodads and geegaws that you might be able to avoid using a knife in your kitchen completely if you had an unlimited supply of money and storage space. Sure, knives are incredibly functional and built to handle all your chopping, slicing, and dicing needs — but why use an incredibly simple knife with products like the over-engineered Avocado Cuber on the market:

My word. Are people really so rushed for time that they can’t watch a one-and-a-half minute YouTube video to learn how to cut an avocado with a knife, but somehow have enough time to drive to Williams-Sonoma to buy this thing? What confuses me the most is that you have to use a knife to cut the avocado in half and remove the pit just so you can use this device. Therefore, you dirty a knife and the Avocado Cuber, creating twice as many dirty dishes. Any time you might save using this device (which, my guess, is not that much) you then waste when you have to wash twice as many gadgets after slicing.

Well, if you like extremely specific kitchen tools made for just one purpose, don’t forget to buy an Avocado Pit Removal Tool, an Avo Saver (you’re apparently saving the “avo” half, not the “cado”), and an Avocado Knife to go with your Avocado Cuber. Who only knows how you will function in your kitchen if you don’t have all four specialty gadgets?!

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