Hasta La Ideas

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Someone (my husband) introduced my four-year-old son to Eggo Waffles once when I was out of town. I won’t name names (yes I will, my husband), but this person is responsible for what I believe to be the grossest food request my son makes. A couple times a month, my son requests a “waffle sandwich,” which is a slice of cheddar cheese in between two Eggo Waffles. It makes me gag just thinking about it.

As a result, I keep a box of Eggos in my freezer at all times to avoid meltdowns from a kid who rarely melts down and rarely eats processed food. Although I find it disgusting (sweet waffle with sharp, savory cheese), I’m not a cruel woman and the kid can’t eat candy because of his food allergies so “waffle sandwich” is his “sometimes food” candy equivalent.

Still, even with a box of Eggos taking up space in our freezer, I have no need for this crazy specific doodad. The Eggo Expand-O:

I like the idea of an expanding storage device, but why can’t it be larger and rectangular so things other than Eggos can be stored in it? Also, why does it have to look like a waffle and have a giant logo on the top of it? Highly specific food storage containers continue to confuse me: take the Nutri-Grain bars and Lem-O-Saver, for example. Evriholder should think outside the box, the Eggo box, and create a food storage container more folks could use.

Thanks to reader Holly for sharing this unitasker idea with us!

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All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I’ve never sat in a new product brainstorming session at a baby supply manufacturing company, but my guess is the meeting for the Car Seat Canopy went something like this:

Idea Staffer: “I’ve got it! Let’s make a baby blanket but call it something else. It will be like a baby blanket in every way, but have a different name.”

Boss: “I like it! New parents are idiots! They’ll buy anything, even unsafe things.”

Idea Staffer: “Exactly! Bwahahahahahahaha!”

Boss: [Rolls fingers together, joins in with Idea Staffer’s maniacal laugh.]

First things first, it is NEVER okay to put a blanket over an infant’s car seat. Even if the blanket has two straps to attach it to the carrier handle, it is not safe. Don’t ever do this. You are putting your child at risk of suffocation because half the blanket can still fall down on your kid AND you can’t see your child to know if he or she is choking, vomiting, overheating, not breathing, etc. A blanket over a car seat is very dangerous. Don’t do it.

Second, car seat carriers have canopies built into them. I have a car seat carrier sitting inches from me right now and, yep, it has a canopy! And, these canopies don’t put your baby at risk of death if you use them. They keep sun and wind out of your kid’s face, plus allow you to see your kid safely.

Third, this thing is $30 for a baby blanket. If you want to put your child’s life at risk and do something as poorly conceived as put a blanket over the seat carrier, any blanket will do. All blankets keep you from being able to see your child equally. It’s a lose-lose situation — no need to spend $30 to jeopardize your kid’s life.

Finally, if you want to protect your baby from the elements, try the following ideas:

1. Don’t take your kid outdoors when the weather is horrible.
2. If it’s sunny, use the built-in canopy or put your child in a body carrier and put a hat on your kid.
3. If it’s cold, use a safe cover that allows you to see your child’s face, so you can see if your kid is in trouble.

Thanks to reader Hillary for bringing this totally unsafe unitasker to our attention.

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All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

Regular readers of this site know that I don’t have fingernails, so most everything about painting and decorating fingernails doesn’t make it onto my radar screen. However, I have hung out with enough people who do their nails to pick up some understanding so I’m not a complete idiot about the subject. I’d earn a solid C- if I were to be graded on painting fingernails.

But, even as a below average student on fingernail painting, even I know this week’s unitasker selection is overkill. Introducing Nail Perfect:

This gigantic doodad is to help you avoid painting your finger as part of the fingernail-painting process. Okay, fine, I’ll concede that accidentally painting your finger could be annoying. I can imagine that being bothersome.

However, this device doesn’t save you any time or effort — after you’re done painting your nails you still have to clean fingernail polish off the machine. It’s either a little fingernail polish remover on a Q-tip to remove the polish from your skin or fingernail polish remover on a cotton ball to take the polish off the device. Cleaning is still cleaning.

One of the reviewers on Amazon also pointed out that you have to leave a single nail in the slot until it dries before being able to apply a second coat. So, instead of being able to paint all 10 fingernails and then returning to the first fingernail to apply a second coat … you paint one nail, wait 5 minutes, paint a second coat on it, and then go to the next fingernail, paint it, wait 5 minutes, paint a second coat on it, etc. Doing all your fingernails could easily take an hour instead of 20-30 minutes. I can’t imagine how long it would take if you needed to do three coats …

And, last but not least, this thing doesn’t work for toenails. Sigh. You still have to clean the polish off your skin on your feet or find a manufacturer to start producing a Toenail Perfect gizmo. (I see dollar signs!)

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All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

At first glance, this week’s unitasker selection seems like it could be helpful. It’s a device to organize shoes, which doesn’t seem like such a bad thing … until you realize a few things about the product that actually make it unhelpful. Let’s take a look at the Space-Saver Shoe Storage Stands:

First, it prices at around $10 a pair of shoes. This isn’t very expensive if you own two pair of shoes. However, I know many people who own 20 or more pair of shoes. So, this shoe storing solution would be at least $200 for them, if not more. Most effective shoe storage solutions are significantly less expensive.

Second, when working with clients, I always recommend they choose a shoe storage solution that they will use every day and that will protect their shoes from pets and pests. One problem with these shoe stands is that they aren’t easy to use — you have to manipulate your shoes and the stands to access the shoes and to put them away. A person who already has a disorganized closet isn’t going to start magically using a complex organizing product. Also, the stands don’t keep dogs from getting into the shoes or cat fur off them the way shoe storage solutions that don’t sit on the floor do.

Third, and this is my biggest hangup with them, the stands aren’t connected or anchored in any way. If one stand falls over (a totally normal expectation), they can all tip over, and then you have a shoe mess on your closet floor. They will keep your shoes paired, but not in any organized fashion, completely negating their purpose.

When organizing your shoes, it’s best to find a solution that actually solves your problem, not creates more problems. If you’re super organized and can come up with a way to anchor these to a shelf out of the reach of pets … maybe these devices can work for you … if you also have a couple hundred or more to spend! Thanks to reader LR for introducing us to this almost-practical unitasker. So close!

If you have a few spare moments and are looking for a hearty laugh, you will likely enjoy Amazon’s recent article “Funniest Reviews.” It features many of the unitaskers we’ve posted over the years along with the ridiculous comments that accompany the products.

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All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I am a dog person. We don’t currently share our home with a dog, but if I had my way we would have a dachshund (or two) hanging out with us. And, by hanging, I don’t mean it literally. However, I’m not sure the inventors of Sling2Go Pet Sling get that:

This is a dog harness that allows you to hook a strap onto it to actually let your dog hang out with you.

His little paws just dangle. There isn’t any place for him to rest his head. He has no protection if you run into something. Slam! His ribs just glide straight into the doorframe.

For older or injured dogs, I understand traditional pet slings where dogs can curl up next to you and be transported in a protective covering to dog parks or the vet. Regular pet slings make sense because the elderly or injured dogs are supported physically and completely by the sling. They can also slide down into the sling and fall asleep if they want to. But in the Sling2Go … dogs can’t do that. What it actually appears to do is to turn your dog into a purse.

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