Hasta La Ideas

Sorting, categorizing, and purging clothing are not activities just for springtime. If your goal is to simplify, unclutter, and to keep only the things you need and use, summer is an opportune time to reveiw and edit what’s in your closet. A new season gives us a reason to check if our style and tastes are still the same as the year before, to see if we have duplicates, and to organize things in a way that helps us find what we want when we want it. You will also get a good idea of the colors you tend to stock up on so you can find ways to introduce others that flatter you (or to streamline your options). And, if you read Erin’s recent post on “material saturation,” you would have learned that our closets (as well as a few other places) are bursting at the seams, so this is just a good a time as any to figure out:

How much clothing you have

This is typically the first step in the clothing review process. You can’t really know what you’re going to keep or donate until you find out exactly what and how much you have. If you have clothes in several places, gather them together so that you can really see how large (or small) your stash is. Sometimes we forget where we store things, so check on high shelves, under the bed, in the guest room (in the closet and under the bed in there, too, if you have a guest room), basement, attic, outdoor storage units, and the laundry area. Once you have them all together, use a flat surface like a table or your bed as a staging area for sorting and categorizing.

Now comes the hard(er) part, making decisions about what gets the boot and what gets lovingly placed back inside your closet.

How many clothes do you really need?

So, how often do you really wear all your clothing? Frequency of use can be used as a benchmark when you’re deciding what you’ll keep. Some things may only be worn once in a while (e.g. for special events) while others are not worn because you no longer like them or because you haven’t seen them. If the latter statement refers to you, give them until the end of this season to see if you reach for them. If you don’t, they are probably good candidates for your favorite charitable organization. Do the same for clothes that you just don’t fancy anymore.

Are you still holding on to clothing that you used to love?

You don’t have to get rid of everything in your closet and there’s nothing wrong with keeping a few items because they have high sentimental value. But, if your closet is filled with many clothes that you used to love but don’t wear anymore, it’s time to look at things a little differently. And, don’t just buy something because it’s on sale. It has to “make your heart sing,” so says Stylist, Stacy London. You might also want to think about which item will leave your closet so that your new purchase can move in.

Do your clothes still fit and flatter you?

Look with a critical eye at each article of clothing. Are they flattering to you now at your current size? Try them on to see how you look and feel in them, especially while you’re still at the store. It will take a little more time to do this, but consider the time you’ll save by leaving something unflattering at the store instead taking it home only to return it later.

Do your clothes still fit your current lifestyle?

Think about your current lifestyle while you’re in decision-making mode. Do you need to attend a variety of diverse events that require several types of clothing, or can you wear some of the same outfits? Has your style evolved over time? If the prospect of searching for clothing that will make you look your best is a bit daunting, you can use an in-store stylist to help you select a few core pieces. Many stores, like Nordstrom, offer this service (for both men and women) free of charge. This doesn’t mean that you have carte blanche to buy any and everything. But, you may get advice that will help you make wiser purchases and help keep your closet from being filled with things that you will never wear.

How will you put everything back?

Before putting everything back in your closet, first figure out if any of your items need to be laundered or taken to the dry cleaners. Some things, even though you may have already worn them once or twice, can go directly in your closet. A recent article in the Star Tribune noted that it’s okay to wash your jeans “intermittently” but jackets and blazers can be worn up to six times before needing to be cleaned. You can also take a look at Real Simple’s The When-to-Wash-It-Handbook for “when to wash” tips on various items, including delicates and everyday wear.

As you return things to your closet…

• Group like items together (e.g., all the pants together, all the shirts together, all the dresses together, and so on) and keep in mind that not every item should be put on a hanger. Sweaters, for instance, keep their shape best when they are folded (find more clothing tips in Martha Stewart’s Homekeeping Handbook).
• Color coordinating (i.e., keeping similar hues together) the clothing in each category will help you to find what you’re looking for more quickly and see the colors you tend to gravitate toward.
• Consider using hangers of the same type and color to give your closet a neat and orderly look. By maintaining a uniform look, you’ll be more likely to things back where they belong.
• Keep donation basket or bag in your closet or laundry room for clothing that you haven’t worn in awhile or simply don’t like anymore.

No matter what structured elements you decide to include in your closet, put things back in a way that makes sense to you. Avoid creating a system that is too complicated to keep up with and the next time you decide to organize your closet, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much easier the task will be.

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We’ve all been there. We make a resolution at the start of the year to change our behavior and current ways of doing things. Perhaps, we decide to exercise more, to stop smoking, or to become an unclutterer. And, we start seeing the results of our efforts, of our commitment to our new goals … then it happens. We backslide. We somehow fall off course, even though we may have earnestly given our new routine our best try.

Though you may feel disappointed and frustrated by this bump in the road, all is not lost. This is an opportunity in disguise, a chance to look back at what worked and what adjustments can be made. In other words, don’t give up. Instead, refine your plan so you have a greater chance of success when you begin again. Take some time to:

Investigate what happened

So, things didn’t work out. You could just accept that and wait for your disappointment to wear off. Or, you could try to figure out the reasons why things didn’t go as you intended.

When you look with an investigative eye, you focus on facts and less on how you (currently) feel. Ask yourself questions to drill down to the reasons that made it hard to stick to your new plan.

• Did you take on too much at once?
• Did you need more support?
• Was your new routine too complex?
• Were you feeling particularly stressed (or other emotion)?

By looking closely at the events that took place before the difficulties arose, you’ll have a better idea of the changes that you can make before trying again.

Consider that you may need more time

You might have heard that it typically takes at least 21 days for a new habit to stick. While there is some data that supports the theory that you can successfully make adjustments in about a month, the reality is that it takes most people 12 weeks or more. When you’ve been used to doing things a certain way for a while, changing that behavior probably will not happen quickly. Consider that you might need to give yourself more time to let your new routine become a natural part of your everyday life.

Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, in a recent interview with NPR, explained that “there’s a cue, or trigger, that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and let a behavior unfold.” This happens after you’ve become used to the new habit. While practice may not exactly make perfect, repetitive actions do increase your comfort level, so much so, that you won’t have to think about what you’re doing. The new behavior will become more instinctive, like brushing your teeth. With this in mind, give your attention to the new routine as often as is reasonable and for as long as you need to.

Redouble your efforts

Dust off your previous plans and analyze them and the process you used to integrate the new habit a bit more closely. To increase your chances of success this time around, here are a six points to think about:

1. Disadvantages of the “bad” habit. Looking at the negative effects of your current behavior will remind you of why you wanted to make a change.
2. Benefits of the new change. Thinking about the positive outcomes can be very motivating and will solidify why you made the decision to adjust your behavior.
3. Complexity of the change. Keep things simple and focus on just one aspect of your life that you’d like to improve. Making realistic goals will prevent you from taking on too much and getting overwhelmed.
4. Ups and downs of the process. Hiccups will happen. That’s unavoidable, particularly until your comfort level with the new habit increases. Expect that things may be a bit tricky, especially in the beginning, but don’t let this discourage you.
5. Strategies you’ll use. Continue using tactics that worked and remove the ones that didn’t. Instead of looking for significant change after 21 days, use that timeframe as a “pausing point” to assess where you are and check that you’re still on the right path.
6. Visualize what success looks like. How will you know when you’ve made it over the hump? What will that look and feel like? Write out or sketch your success picture. Post it somewhere visible to inspire and remind you of what you’re working toward.

As I mentioned before, there is no one way to make improvements that will work for every personality. You will find some things helpful and others not. You may discover that you need more or less structure. Maybe you need someone to motivate you to continue on. Perhaps being in a different environment would be helpful. Writing down your thoughts might have a positive effect. As you go through this process of change, be mindful of how you’re feeling and be aware of what seems to work best for you. Keep things simple and use setbacks as opportunities to refine your system so that you can find a routine that works for you.

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I recently read a blog post titled, “How to Stop Being Angry” by Peter Shankman. He offered 10 tips for letting go of anger and here’s number three:

Go find an animal. Go sit down on the floor and play with a dog or a cat for 10 minutes. Scientific study after scientific study has shown that playing with animals makes you happy, calmer, and better able to react well to life. Plus, they’re PUPPIES AND KITTENS!!!

This brought a smile to my face (I think I even chuckled out loud), and it also made me think about the similarities between physical and mental clutter. Just as excessive belongings can litter our space, so can emotions that do nothing to enhance our lives or the people around us. A continuous negative or foul mood can hang heavily around our necks like an albatross. When we walk around feeling angry or annoyed for long stretches of time, it can have a negative impact on our well-being, clutter our minds, and immobilize us.

Am I suggesting the only solution to mental clutter is to spend your days thinking about puppy dogs and rainbows? No, but it is helpful to find ways to head off those bad feelings before they take hold of you. And, perhaps more importantly, figuring out what triggers these emotions is a good way to start managing them successfully. These five strategies are often (okay, not always, but usually) successful at keeping emotions in check:

Be aware of your feelings

The first step to controlling your annoyance (or another negative emotion) is being aware of how you’re feeling. While it may seem that one would be very conscious of this, your mind can race and your thoughts can bounce about like electrons inside an atom, making it difficult to think clearly. So, make a concerted effort to think about exactly what you’re feeling in that moment. This can help you figure out what direction or course of action to take. Over time, you may come to notice that there are specific things that “rub you the wrong way,” and you’ll be able to find ways to control your emotions.

Try to remain calm

Instead letting anger boil inside of you, consider 10 reasons why someone would do or say something that gets under your skin. While you’re at it, think about 10 reasons why you may be feeling particularly sensitive. Pausing gives you the benefit of thinking rationally, can stop you from overreacting, and give you some time to calm down.

Step away from the situation

There are some people who are in our lives for the long haul and some we see often (e.g. coworkers) whom we would like to avoid but can’t. Still, that doesn’t mean you have to be in their presence when you’re feeling less-than-positive about them. Remove yourself from the situation, when possible. Excuse yourself for a few moments so you can regain your composure. Perhaps a breath of fresh air or a splash of cold water on your face will help you settle down and feel more prepared to not only deal with the how you’re feeling, but also come up with a strategy to interact well with the person that you’re having difficulty with.

Pretend to be happy

Push yourself to feel better. One way to do that is to put a smile on your face even though you may not want to. The facial feedback hypothesis states that facial movements can affect your emotions. Turning your frown upside down might actually put a positive spin on things. You may start out pretending to be happy, but there’s a possibility that you’ll end up actually feeling better.

Rethink the situation

If you can, re-frame the problem so things don’t seem so awful. Instead of thinking you’re in a conflict, think of the issue as a puzzle to be solved. If you spend more time coming up with ways to stay positive, there won’t be time for anger and frustration to fester.

If there’s someone in your life who repeatedly triggers negative feelings in you, your attempt to turn that around will be a process. You won’t change how you react or feel overnight and it may take a bit of practice. But, by using a combination of reflection and distraction, you’ll give yourself the opportunity to let go of negative thoughts. And, as I said earlier, it might not always work, but often these strategies do help you to let go of negative feelings so you can focus more on what matters to you.

Like this site? Buy Erin Rooney Doland’s Unclutter Your Life in One Week from Amazon.com today.

Reader Chad submitted the following to Ask Unclutterer:

I read the article “The Busy Trap” on the New York Times’ opinion page this week. While I was reading it, I immediately thought of Unclutterer and wondered what your opinions were of it. Do you think we should all head to “Undisclosed Locations” or be “unmolested by obligations” to be happy and have uncluttered lives, the way the reporter [Tim Kreider] suggests?

A good question, Chad. I certainly agree with Kreider that many of us could significantly benefit from more un-programmed time in our days and in our lives, but I see no need to abandon all responsibilities to find happiness or to pursue a simple, uncluttered life. In fact, I find some major problems — practically, philosophically — with Kreider’s suggestions.

He has chosen to go off, as you mention in your question, to an “Undisclosed Location” to avoid responsibilities as his primary way of life. But, he’s doing it fully at the expense of other people. He’s not growing, harvesting, and butchering his own food — he’s expecting farmers and grocers to go to work so that he can enjoy the fruits of their labor. I’m assuming his far-flung location has electricity and running water, which do not happen magically but through the hard work of linemen and engineers. The library he uses to submit his writing is staffed by employees, who if they weren’t logging hours, he wouldn’t have access to the internet. The gas he puts into his car so he can drive to the library has to be drilled and pumped out of the ground, refined, transported and sold to him by living, breathing people. Never mind the programmers and technicians who spent thousands of hours developing the computer and related technologies (cell phone, software, digital camera, etc.) he uses to perform his job. If it weren’t for people who put in 40-, 60-, 80-hour work weeks, he wouldn’t have the luxury of being “unmolested by obligations.”

Kreider’s musing that the world would be “ruin[ed] if everyone behaved as I do” is quite accurate, in my opinion. For society to function, there have to be people working diligently to make it happen. And, my guess is that the next time he needs emergency medical care that he’ll be glad the doctors treating him chose not to be defiantly indolent, but rather have pursued the “frenetic hustle” he claims is causing humans emptiness.

Busy-ness is neither good nor bad, and to assume anyone lacks meaning in his life because he has tasks on his to-do list is erroneous.

Major critiques aside, I do find value in some of his statements. I concur it is important to take a step back and dwell on the big picture, albeit occasionally. I start each morning with a cup of coffee and 15 minutes of silence. When I find myself anxious, stressed, or keeping busy for the sake of keeping busy, I pause what I’m doing and take a timeout to clear my head. An unplugged weekend or vacation help me to better focus on what matters most to me when I’m reconnected again. (But, as I’ve already mentioned, I see few benefits in Kreider’s advocation of a robustly slacker lifestyle rich with modern conveniences that is wholly reliant on industrious people to provide these conveniences.)

Kreider asks a poignant question in the sixth paragraph of his piece that speaks powerfully to me: “I can’t help but wonder whether all this histrionic exhaustion isn’t a way of covering up the fact that most of what we do doesn’t matter.” I have wondered the same thing, and this question more accurately addresses what I believe to be at the heart of this busy-ness conversation (and, Chad, I think this is where you were headed with your initial question).

I agree with Kreider, if you don’t know what you desire or if you don’t know what matters most to you, you will fall into the trap of “histrionic exhaustion.” Without direction, you will go nowhere.

We’ve all met people with no idea of what matters most to them. They save everything because they don’t know what is important. They’re paralyzed when making the simplest of decisions because they don’t know what they want. They’re rarely at home, and when they are, the television or radio or some form of audio stimulation is constantly blaring so they don’t have to be alone with their thoughts. I spent years living this way, and I kept trying to convince myself that because I had more stuff in my house, more action items on my to-do list, and more stuff coming into my life that I was important and happy. But I wasn’t. And, I don’t think most people who exist in a frenzied, chaotic state are genuinely happy. I’m not saying they don’t exist — because they do, I’ve encountered them — but most people without an understanding of what matters to them are frustrated and exhausted at their core.

Being busy, though, doesn’t disqualify people from living an uncluttered life. When you are clear and centered on what matters most to you, you may find you have more responsibilities than you did before you acknowledged what you wanted. The difference is that you’re only pursuing what is valuable and you’re discarding the clutter. You’re leading a meaningful and responsible life, which is likely bringing you great happiness. (The only caveat here is that I’m not recommending pursuing any activity that could land you in jail. The lawyers wanted me to state that outright.)

I keep a piece of paper on my desk that helps me to stay focused on what matters most to me. Initially, it wasn’t a list, it was simply a quote from my friend Laurell: “Drink coffee. Do good.” Over the years, I’ve added to the list, as my responsibilities (professional and personal) have grown. The two initial statements are now accompanied by things like “Help others. Cherish and prioritize my boys, my family, and my friends. Don’t carelessly or inconsiderately cause work for other people.” My list consists of 10 things that I value above everything else, and it’s my guide to help me stay focused on what is important to me. I recommend you create a list of what matters to you, and reference it often so you can answer the question “does this matter?” for yourself. (I also recommend keeping your list under 10 items, as more than that is pretty much impossible to achieve.)

In conclusion, I don’t believe living simply and pursuing an uncluttered life require removing yourself from society to an “Undisclosed Location.” Living simply and pursuing an uncluttered life don’t require you to be idle or bored or “unmolested by obligations.” (Although, taking time for reflection and retreat can be beneficial, especially when you’ve lost sight of what matters most to you.) Living simply and pursuing an uncluttered life only require that you clear the distractions, the clutter, and focus instead on what matters most to you. If you want to find a cure for cancer, find a cure for cancer even if it means a busy schedule and long hours in a lab. And, if you want to remove yourself from society like Kreider, do so — just don’t expect the rest of us to follow in your footsteps or think that your way is the only way. We each have different paths for achieving our uncluttered lives focused on what matters most to us.

Thank you, Chad, for submitting your question for our Ask Unclutterer column. I hope I answered your question in my admittedly long-winded response.

Do you have a question relating to organizing, cleaning, home and office projects, productivity, or any problems you think the Unclutterer team could help you solve? To submit your questions to Ask Unclutterer, go to our contact page and type your question in the content field. Please list the subject of your e-mail as “Ask Unclutterer.” If you feel comfortable sharing images of the spaces that trouble you, let us know about them. The more information we have about your specific issue, the better.

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This past weekend was certainly eventful in some areas of the United States. Not only were temperatures hovering around 100 degrees, strong storms also hit several mid-west and eastern states, including mine in the Mid-Atlantic. The result: a loss of power that, as of the writing of this post, still leaves crews scrambling to restore it.

As you can imagine, this impacted the way things normally happen in my household. Having no power meant that not only were there no lights, but we also didn’t have air conditioning or water since we’re on a well system (which is also powered by electricity).

Life’s interruptions, whether large or small, can create chaos and be overwhelming. Don’t let stress clutter up your perceptions when faced with a major or minor emergency. Follow these five suggestions for keeping your head and reducing mental clutter:

Stop worrying

When we’re faced with difficult or trying circumstances, we can become frustrated and very emotional. Many situations (like bad weather) are temporary, and chances are they will improve. Worrying about things that are beyond your control will likely increase how anxious you may be feeling. On the other hand, if you’re a worrier by nature …

Focus on solutions

Instead of soley concentrating on how you feel about the challenges you’re facing, turn your attention to things you can actually change. Shed the negative thinking so that you can come up with creative solutions. Try your best, too, to find ones that you can rely on again, should a similar situation arise in the future. Ultimately, you’ll feel more in control and the stress you’re feeling will dissipate. For me, the solutions were evident. I needed to evaluate the situation and, with my husband, put plans in place to keep our family safe now and if we lose power at another future date.

Be prepared

Emergencies can happen at any time, so it’s helpful to have extra food, water, first aid supplies, and other needed items (e.g. medications) on hand. Having a plan of action (though it may change) can help keep your mind settled. We knew that when the power went out that we’d to need keep our perishables from, well, perishing. We moved some items from the fridge to the freezer where it’s colder and added bags of ice and limited the number of times the fridge was opened.

Find other things to do

Maybe your situation isn’t an emergency but is still quite distressing. A plan helps here, too. Will you call a trusted friend to talk things through? Will you go for a walk? Knowing that you have options will help put your mind at ease. So, get immersed in something you enjoy doing or need to do, like organize your office, finish a work project, or exercise. Whatever you choose to do to take your mind of things, you’ll likely feel more prepared to face your problem afterward.

Don’t give up

You may get discouraged if you try a solution that doesn’t work as you had hoped. Failure is another opportunity to try something else. Hang in there. Remind yourself that rarely are people successful on the first attempt — Thomas Edison’s first attempt at a light bulb was a failure, but he kept trying alternatives. Persevering can lead to success in ways you may not have imagined.

No matter what difficulties you’re facing, remember there are things you can do to turn your situation around. With worry pushed aside and a plan of attack in place, you’ll find you’re more equipped to handle most everything that comes your way.

Like this site? Buy Erin Rooney Doland’s Unclutter Your Life in One Week from Amazon.com today.