Hasta La Ideas

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

I’ve never sat in a new product brainstorming session at a baby supply manufacturing company, but my guess is the meeting for the Car Seat Canopy went something like this:

Idea Staffer: “I’ve got it! Let’s make a baby blanket but call it something else. It will be like a baby blanket in every way, but have a different name.”

Boss: “I like it! New parents are idiots! They’ll buy anything, even unsafe things.”

Idea Staffer: “Exactly! Bwahahahahahahaha!”

Boss: [Rolls fingers together, joins in with Idea Staffer’s maniacal laugh.]

First things first, it is NEVER okay to put a blanket over an infant’s car seat. Even if the blanket has two straps to attach it to the carrier handle, it is not safe. Don’t ever do this. You are putting your child at risk of suffocation because half the blanket can still fall down on your kid AND you can’t see your child to know if he or she is choking, vomiting, overheating, not breathing, etc. A blanket over a car seat is very dangerous. Don’t do it.

Second, car seat carriers have canopies built into them. I have a car seat carrier sitting inches from me right now and, yep, it has a canopy! And, these canopies don’t put your baby at risk of death if you use them. They keep sun and wind out of your kid’s face, plus allow you to see your kid safely.

Third, this thing is $30 for a baby blanket. If you want to put your child’s life at risk and do something as poorly conceived as put a blanket over the seat carrier, any blanket will do. All blankets keep you from being able to see your child equally. It’s a lose-lose situation — no need to spend $30 to jeopardize your kid’s life.

Finally, if you want to protect your baby from the elements, try the following ideas:

1. Don’t take your kid outdoors when the weather is horrible.
2. If it’s sunny, use the built-in canopy or put your child in a body carrier and put a hat on your kid.
3. If it’s cold, use a safe cover that allows you to see your child’s face, so you can see if your kid is in trouble.

Thanks to reader Hillary for bringing this totally unsafe unitasker to our attention.

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